Media Coverage
"Mr. NICE"
By: Jon Bowen
Ron Shapiro is a nice guy. For this uber-negotiator and agent-attorney to the stars, The Power of Nice® is more than the title of his award-winning book; it’s his life-guiding philosophy and personal value system-in-a-nutshell.
And it works. Fueled by kindness and dedicated to a win-win style, Shapiro has negotiated more than three-quarters of a billion dollars in contracts for clients like Cal Ripken, Jr. and Baseball Hall of Famers Jim Palmer, Brooks Robinson and Kirby Puckett. With his trademark nice-guy approach, he has settled differences of opinion ranging from a Baltimore Symphony Orchestra strike to a dispute within the city’s police department.
These days, Shapiro is taking his show on the road and into the upper echelons of America’s corporations and nonprofits. At the helm of the Shapiro Negotiations Institute, he creates customized on-site seminars designed to show corporate-types how they can harness The Power of Nice® and use it to improve their communication and negotiation skills.
At one recent seminar at the Ritz-Carlton Philadelphia, Shapiro’s charisma came to the surface before the seminar even started. As folks were filing into the meeting room and settling into their seats under the Ritz’s gilded chandeliers, Shapiro worked the floor like a seasoned politico on the campaign trail. He introduced himself to people one by one, smiling, making eye contact, shaking hands. At the front of the room he pointed out the location of the restrooms and phones. It was clear he wanted everyone to be comfortable and content—he’s a natural-born host-with-the-most.
The seminar started with some introductory remarks from Shapiro, and then Cal Ripken, Jr. slipped in late, taking a seat near the back of the room. It’s a testament to Ripken’s respect for Shapiro’s expertise that he was willing to take time out of his busy schedule to attend this seminar. Even though Shapiro has represented Ripken since he was a teenager, baseball’s Iron Man—now that he’s running his own minor league baseball team—is still looking to Shapiro for pointers on negotiating win-win deals.
So what, in Ripken’s view, makes Ron such an effective negotiator? One word: preparation. “He prepares more than anybody else,” says Ripken. “He gathers info, and he prepares and he’s confident. It’s the process that creates the confidence.”
And the confidence, in turn, creates the deal.
The Three Ps:
Here’s The Power of Nice® philosophy in a single sentence: “The best way to get what you want is to help the other side get what they want.”
In other words, before you enter into a negotiation, find out what the other guy wants to get out of the deal. Do research, stockpile information, learn everything you can about the needs of the folks on the other side of the table. Put yourself in the other guy’s shoes, look for common ground that can make everybody happy.
But a guiding philosophy is just half of the nice-guy formula for success. To really nail down a win-win negotiation, Shapiro says, “You need two things: a philosophy and a systematic approach. When you’re approaching a negotiation, a systematic approach is what empowers you.”
Shapiro’s systematic approach is defined by The Three Ps: prepare, probe and propose. When you’re prepared, Shapiro says, you can control the negotiation process rather than being controlled by the other guy’s whims. Think through the entire negotiation before it starts; that way, you’ll stay focused once the give-and-take gets underway.
Probe to get more information. Most negotiators, says Shapiro, spend way too much time talking and not nearly enough listening. In his usual candid style, Shapiro admits that he learned this lesson the hard way; a reformed talkaholic, he now preaches the power of the bended ear. “I believe in two things,” Shapiro says. “Be better prepared and be a better listener.”
And that leads us to the third P: propose. Try not to make the first offer—let the other guy do that—but when you do get around to making your offer (or counter-offer), make it “strong, solid and reasonable.” And be prepared to change the terms. Before you make a proposal, know in your own mind what your walkaway is. When you know ahead of time how much you’re willing to concede, it’s not a surrender if you have to back down—it’s part of your plan.
For Shapiro, The Three Ps put you in the deal-making driver’s seat. “Once you embrace them,” he says, “you’re empowered to drive the negotiation rather than react” to the other guy.
Make a Life
A Philadelphia native, Shapiro (pronounced Shap-EYE-ro) now calls Baltimore home. He founded the law firm of Shapiro, Sher and Guinot in 1972, and in 1976 he started Shapiro, Robinson & Associates, a sports and entertainment management firm that repped some of baseball’s brightest stars. (He also represented Oprah Winfrey, a one-time Baltimorean, at the start of her career.) It was 1995 when Shapiro founded the Shapiro Negotiations Institute and started giving corporate America the benefit of his wheeling-and-dealing expertise.
So what lessons from the world of high-stakes sports negotiations was he able to apply to business scenarios? Mainly one thing: build relationships.
“Sports negotiation is cut-throat competition over dollars,” Shapiro says. “But if you play the cut-throat game, you damage relationships. It became clear to me that the principle of not cutting throats to get what you want applies to business negotiations. Relationships are invaluable. There’s no better principle to practice in the business world than making good relationships—while you also make good deals.”
Shapiro is more of a giver than a taker. He has chaired more than 25 boards of charitable and civic organizations, and last year he wrapped up a campaign that raised $600,000 for the William S. Baer School, a Baltimore-area school for developmentally disabled children and has raised millions for Johns Hopkins Children’s Center and the Greenebaum Cancer Center of the University of Maryland Medical System.
For inspiration for his charitable work, Shapiro takes a quote from Winston Churchill: “You make a living by what you get, you make a life by what you give.” Shapiro puts it this way: “When you’re blessed, you share your blessings.” Shapiro’s main inspiration will always be his own father. “He loved people and he always looked for ways to build relationships.”
As a father to his own kids, Shapiro often found himself playing the role of negotiator for household disputes. And he settled domestic dust-ups in the usual way—by employing The Three Ps. First and foremost, he listened. “With my kids, when I ask questions,” he says, “I see opportunities for resolutions. Some parents want to give instructions. It’s better to listen. It’s the same principle I use when I’m negotiating a symphony orchestra strike or a police department dispute.”
It’s also the principle that lured a young Cal Ripken, Jr. to Shapiro more than two decades ago. When Ripken was an up-and-comer, he had to choose an agent to guide what would become his long, illustrious career. He was wooed, wined and dined by dozens of agent wannabes who showed up in stretch limos to take him out on the town to fancy restaurants. When it came time for his meeting with Shapiro, they met in his office and talked about Ripken’s future over tuna sandwiches.
In the end, Ripken chose Shapiro. Why? The same reason that corporate folks are lining up now to hear his pitch for The Power of Nice®. “It was the honesty and the substance of his message,” Ripken says. “His integrity came through.”
This article appears in the May/June issue of Arrive magazine, Amtrak's onboard magazine in the Northeast.
For more information on Arrive, visit
www.arrivemagazine.com
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