Media Coverage
Win-Win: Ron Shapiro’s new book about negotiation emphasizes NICE over NASTY
BY ADAM KATZ-STONE
When Ronald Shapiro was a young lawyer still earning his stripes, he learned his first lesson in really bad negotiating.
A client, a real estate developer, had a superior location. "His instruction was that the tenant needed this space so badly, we should squeeze that tenant for everything we could get," said Mr. Shapiro, who, reluctantly, did as told. Six months later, the tenant was gone. "He couldn’t’ carry the lease."
The message was clear. "Bridge-building, rather than bridge-burning" was a better approach, he learned.
That lesson lies at the heart of The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins – Especially You! – the book Mr. Shapiro co-authored with Mark A. Jankowski and James Dale. Since its publication last October, the book has sold 20,000 copies nationwide and has been chosen one of the “Best Business Books of 1998” by the Library Journal, the leading independent library publication.
In Mr. Shapiro’s opinion, society has given the word "negotiators" a bad rap. It conjures up images of labor-management conflicts, and of Palestinian and Israelis "fighting it out at the table," said Mr. Shapiro, 56, a partner in the Baltimore law firm of Shapiro & Olander, and founder of the national consulting firm Shapiro Negotiations Institute.
"People think if they act weak, they are going to lose," said Mr. Shapiro, a resident of northern Baltimore County who, with his wife Cathi and their school-age-children, belongs to Beth Am Congregation.
In fact, Mr. Shapiro argues, it's possible to negotiate in such a way that everyone walks away feeling a winner.
Mr. Shapiro has practiced what he preaches. A 1967 graduate of Harvard Law School, he has, in the course of his career:
Helped resolve the Baltimore Symphony 1982 strike;
Negotiated contracts for baseball superstars Kirby Puckett and Cal Ripken Jr.; and
Participated in the massive deal making surrounding the 1994 and 1995 baseball strike.
But, Mr. Shapiro recalls his toughest negotiation was in the local Jewish community.
During construction of Baltimore’s Holocaust Memorial in 1980, a debate raged in the Jewish community – should such commemorations be universal or speak solely to the Jewish experience in the war?
"I chaired some of the most emotional and potentially divisive meetings within the Jewish community at the time," said Mr. Shapiro, a past president of the American Jewish Committee and a past board member of The Associated Jewish Community Federation of Baltimore.
In the end, he helped to craft a compromise, by employing "The Three Ps" he describes in his book; Prepare, Probe and Propose.
He argues in essence, that parties can reach a mutually satisfactory resolution to almost any question if a negotiator does all the necessary research, listens attentively to the other side’s position, and puts an offer on the table in the proper way.
It’s a strategy that Mr. Shapiro has used successfully for a range of corporate clients over the years.
"For Ron it’s never about the moment you are in. It’s always about the next thing you are going to do with these people," said Donald Manekin, senior vice president of the Baltimore-area real estate development firm Manekin Corp.
Mr. Shapiro’s law firm handles Manekin Corp.’s legal needs, and Donald Manekin said the "nice" approach has given him more than just a competitive edge: it has given him a tool to use in all aspects of his professional and personal life.
"It’s not necessarily about business, it’s about how you conduct yourself with employees, how you negotiate with your spouse or significant other. It’s about being a good listener and leaving your ego at the door," he said.
Of course, it’s one thing to win praise from a satisfied client, and another thing altogether to earn the respect of others in one’s field.
During the baseball strike, Randy Levine essentially represented the "other side." Now deputy mayor of New York City, Mr. Levine negotiated on behalf of the owners during the strike, while as an agent Mr. Shapiro sat squarely in the players’s camp.
"I think Ron is spectacular , somebody I respect very, very much," said Mr. Levine. "He knows how to listen, which is the most important skill any negotiator can have."
As a professional negotiator himself, Mr. Levine said the ideas in The Power of Nice are right on target.
"I think the idea of win-win negotiation is correct: the compromise of relationships, where both parties get a little of what they want but not everything, those turn out to be the best relatioshiops of all," he said.
Morever, Mr. Levine praised Mr. Shapiro for capturing on paper the subtle and sometime intangible rules that govern good negotiations. "He has done the best job of anybody I have ever seen in trying to take what is essentially an art, and translate it into a science," he said.
Mr. Shapiro, meanwhile, said his aims in writing the book go beyond simply helping people to get better results in their business deals. Ultimately he is doing his small part, both with the book and in his own professional endeavors, to defuse the culture of confrontation in this country.
"Whoever I am negotiating for, if I can impart some sanity to the negotiations and to the process, I am accomplishing something that far exeeds a pure dollar amount," he said.
"Nice" Negotiations
In his book – The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins – Especially You! – Ron Shapiro offers a seven-step plan for perfect preparation:
Precedent: Know how similar issues have been resolved in the past
Alternatives: Understand what all the options are
Interests: Be clear about what you want to get out of this negotiation, and know what the other side wants, too.
Deadlines: Knowing the time constraints will help you know when to say when.
Strengths and weaknesses: Take an honest inventory of both sides’ strong and weak points
Goals: Know how little you will take – and also how much you really want.
"You will never achieve a lofty goal unless you aim for it."
Strategy and team: Assemble the players on your side, and make sure they all are working from the same playbook.
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