Our chairman, Ron Shapiro, recently traveled to Arizona and Florida to check in on some of his clients during Major League Baseball’s Spring Training.  While he did catch a few innings, most of his time was spent building and strengthening relationships.  It just goes to show that the game is important, but the relationships made outside the lines are just as, if not more, valuable.  Taking the emphasis on relationships that has worked so well as a sports agent into the business world has led Ron to become a change agent.

How many Spring Trainings have you been to and how does this most recent trip compare to your first?

I’ve been going since 1975, so almost 40 years.  My most recent trip was much shorter than my first trip because Shapiro Negotiations Institute takes up more of my time.  I also used to spend most of Spring Training in Florida because that’s where the majority of facilities were. Now, many teams train in Arizona so I spend about half of my time out there.  Another difference is it’s become a lot less personal now in the sense that the new stadiums and facilities put a greater distance between the players and the fans.  The older facilities allowed for a more personal feel.

What was the purpose of your trip?

I see players and club officials and spend time with them to learn what’s on their minds.  I actually see relatively few innings of baseball games.  If I watch 2-3 innings of a game that’s a lot.  The purpose of my trips isn’t about seeing games, but connecting with people.  I take the things we preach at Shapiro Negotiations Institute, like building relationships, and apply them.

Do a lot of other agents do the same thing you do at Spring Training?

It’s always been the case for agents to meet with clients during Spring Training.  It’s a relatively low pressure environment and allows for higher time availability for players.  It’s not the game-to-game grind of the regular season.  Players only play in parts of games so they are much freer, which is great because it allows for more 1 on 1 time.

Do you have any memorable stories from this or any other Spring Training?

I’m in baseball because I love the people involved in the sport.  This is the time when I get the best opportunity to engage with these individuals.  Meeting with great people and families, like the Mauers, Ripkens, and Pucketts, is a wonderful experience.

One memory that stands out was being able to step in to hit a few pitches.  I love the feeling of a wooden bat hitting a leather covered baseball.  When they were kind and threw the ball up to me…it went well.  When they showed me their stuff…it didn’t go so well.

An article by Cynthia Crossen from The Wall Street Journal a few years back reported that, “Most people speak at a rate of 120 to 150 words a minute, but the human brain can easily process more than 500 words a minute, leaving plenty of time for mental fidgeting.”  Herein lays one of the great obstacles to effective listening.  We have the biological capability to listen to everything, yet we often miss a lot of information because we get bored or disinterested.

In a negotiation, the last thing you want to do is lose out on information.  Everything the other side says is potentially valuable to help you make a deal.  Let the other side talk as much as they want.  Listen between the lines to what is said and what is omitted.  Listen for nuance and emotion.  Listen with your eyes to see their mannerisms and comfort level with each topic.  All the material you need to make the deal is there, it’s just up to you to gather it.

When it is your time to speak, make what you say count.  Don’t feel obligated to match the amount of time they spoke for.  Say what you need to frame the issues and keep moving forward on the key issues of the negotiation.  The less you say, the more others will remember.

Think of it this way: the best negotiators aren’t only smooth talkers, they’re smooth listeners too.

To read the article from the Wall Street Journal by Cynthia Crossen entitled “From Talk Shows to Offices, America Lacks Good Listeners”, click here

One of the best ways to make a deal—and keep making future deals—is to create a relationship with the other side.  If you can find a connection that goes beyond just business you can make better deals now and in the future.  These connections, however, have to be real.  A fake connection can be seen a mile away and will ultimately get you in trouble.  Take a look at the following list to make real connections that can build relationships.

Environment and Style

Desk—The comfort zone.  Everything there is important.  Souvenirs, kid-stuff, photos, company mottos, mission statements.

Cars—Alter ego. Fast, plush, safe, exotic, functional.

Clothes—The style of the person.  Aggressive, conservative, neat, messy, severe, natural.

Speech—Audio clues.  Sports metaphors.  Literature or movie references. War analogies.  Name-dropping.  Place-dropping.

Recreational Links

Sports (Spectator)—Mementos, souvenirs, autographs.

Sports (Participatory)—Trophies, framed scorecards, golf or running shoes on floor, clubs, racquets, rods in corner, bandages, limps.

Hobbies—Spare time.  Collecting anything.  Stamps, coins, antiques, toys, books.  Hunting, fishing, diving, photography, golf, gardening, reading, movies, travel.

Pets—Dogs, cats, birds, fish, horses.  For fun, for show.

Human Connections

Families—The obvious connection, often the best.

Children—The big connection.  Babies and late night feedings, adolescents and acne, teenagers and driving, college kids and tuitions, married and having babies.

Friends—Who knows who you might have in common.

Heroes—Mentors, influences.

Culture Links

Art, Music, Theater, Dance

Civic Activities

Boards, charities, causes, politics—(be careful).

Miscellaneous

Ethnic Heritage—Never underestimate the power of a shamrock.  Handle with diplomacy.

Ailments—Bad backs, allergies, pulled muscles.

Jokes—Some people collect them.

Alma Mater—Grade school, prep school, college, grad school, military, fraternity, sorority, Rotary, Kiwanis, Elks, Scouts.

The room is dark and hazy.  The man across the table from you puffs on his cigar.  A cloud of smoke slowly plumes out of his mouth and rises towards the low-hanging overhead light above the table before dissipating into the air.  A small bead of sweat begins to trickle down your forehead.  Without unlocking your eyes from his, you slide a piece of paper across the table with another new proposal.  He grabs the paper and stares back at you.  The small bead of sweat finally slides down your face and drops onto your shirt.

Okay, maybe your negotiation is not this dramatic or intense.  Still, a deadlocked negotiation can be a difficult thing to get around.  Perhaps you can’t agree on the price or timing.  Maybe it’s an issue of control.  Whatever it is, a new approach needs to be taken so that the deadlock can be broken and a deal can be reached.   So how do you do this?

Change Locations

If you’ve been meeting at your office, offer to go to theirs.  A change in scenery can be good for both parties.  Sometimes a setting can be intimidating, stifling, stale, or negative.  Staring at the same walls can become boring.  Imagination and energies can wane.  Maybe the negotiators have begun to subconsciously associate the surroundings with a lack of progress.  By switching locations, both parties get a new perspective.  They’ll be in a different room, in a different seat, facing a new direction.  It may not seem logical, but attitudes can shift with locales.

Change Negotiators

Maybe you’re the problem.  It may not mean that you’re negotiating poorly, but that the other party isn’t hearing you anymore.  (You may be guilty of the same thing in reverse).  They are frustrated with how the negotiation has gone and may have tuned
you out.   Instead of being stuck at this impasse, bring in a substitute.  Let your partner or associate take over.  A fresh face with a new style can jump-start the stalled negotiation.

Call in a Mediator

This is a more dramatic suggestion to changing negotiators.  If both sides are stuck without a way out, a mediator may be the best option.  This person must be an expert in negotiations, but not necessarily in the specific topic.  They only need to understand the fundamentals well enough to facilitate progress.  The mediator does not need to get bogged down with the small details—something that has probably happened to both sides.  Instead, the mediator should be focused on the broad goals of the deal.

Make sure to check out our colleague, Jeff Cochran, as he speaks at the Training Conference and Expo 2012 in Atlanta, Georgia.  He will be speaking on Wednesday, February 15th from 12:15 PM – 3:15 PM at the Georgia World Congress Center. His presentation is based on the award-winning book, The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins– Especially You!, and will focus on a systematic process for negotiating deals will suppliers, vendors, and customers that helps to maintain an ongoing relationship long after “the deal is done”. You’ll learn how to negotiate in a way that is profitable, while also satisfying the needs of the other side so that negative ramifications down the line are minimized. You will:

• Learn habits and tools that can be applied immediately to achieve greater negotiation success
• Undergo Real Deal coaching
• Participate in interactive exercises
• Be able to train others in your organization in this process

We’re excited about the opportunity to speak and hope you are able to come see us.

For more information about the conference, check out their website at http://www.trainingconference.com/index.cfm